First off, what the hell was up with letting Victoria Beckham have a crack at two cities? She didn't get any better in Denver!

Mark. Claims people think he looks like Jack Black. I don't see it, and that's actually a good thing. I was prepared to hate, but he won both me and Karla over when he chose to sing Tempted by Squeeze and made it through to Hollywood.

I was a bit pissed because I thought when the camera started to bring this image into focus that it'd be a butt, but it was just the age-old trick of making knees look like an ass!

Casey James. He was in a motorcycle accident and had a long recovery. His voice isn't great, but Kara and Victoria want to act like the guys do and make Casey put his hair down and take his shirt off so they can ogle him! It would have been completely awesome if Casey had actually worked out at all. They also told him to work on his personality, but his looks were still enough to get him to Hollywood (And the Top 24. Oops! Spoiler alert!)

"You're like a human orange!" Simon says to Tori after Victoria tells her she's sunny.

Austin. Totally full of himself and loves to talk about how he's a football player AND a singer/songwriter. After listening to him sing, Victoria tells him that instead of being good, his performance made her "get a bit itchy from it". Of course, Austin can't believe that they all said "No".

Kenny. After his audition Simon tells him "It sounded like you've been punched and you were just screaming".

This girl emitted a piercing shriek in her attempt to hit a high note, and Simon said "You just killed every cat in Denver!"

Nicci Nix flew 14 hours from Florence, Italy to audition. She has a strange cartoony speaking voice and Simon wanted to know if she'd eaten any Helium today. "A million percent?!" Karla is amazed at Randy's enthusiasm for sending Nicci to Hollywood. "I'd be 75%!" I wholeheartedly agreed with Karla's much more reasonable assessment.

Haeley. Her goal is to be the first black country singer from Idol. Great. I suppose she could look up to
Charley Pride and hang out with
Cowboy Troy. Scratch that, if she hung out with the ridiculous Cowboy Troy I'd have to do some serious ass-kicking!

Last year we had Bikini Girl, this year we unfortunately get Bikini Boy. Instantly all four judges get pissed off and get bleeped because they all say "Oh, fuck!" and then they all get up and leave en masse, leaving Bikini Boy to stand there all alone while the Golden Ticket holder tries not to look at him and crack up.

Like a total guy, he just goes for it and scratches his ass on camera.
Tomorrow is the last audition show, and I am SO glad. It's also just a recap where they mash all the bits and pieces of all the audition shows together. Oh, and it comes on at 9pm instead of 8 because for some weird reason they're putting that new show Human Target on in their old time slot. BAD IDEA!! Anyway, next week Ellen finally joins Idol for the Hollywood round!